After the discussion between myself and my media teacher about the first cut of my short film, we acknowledge that the opening needs some work as it did not feel like a prison cell. Therefore I decided that I should re-evaluate how I should start the film.
Inconsideration I return to my source material of 1984 to gain some ideas. A thought was to develop the intertextual reference to 1984 would to start will, instead of the protagonist being in a prison cell, to have the protagonist doing similar work that Winston does; deleting and refining information for the party. However bring it in to the 21st-century a have computer to delete information.
In consideration of the idea, I felt that it did not add anything to the narrative that was offered. I realise the narrative starts at the point in which the protagonist entered the bus. Therefore I should start my short film at that point. This is what I'm going to do, I'm going to remove the beginning and start my short film at the point in which the bus pulls up beside the protagonist and the protagonist enters the bus.
Sunday 24 February 2013
Thursday 21 February 2013
Stock Footage
Here is the stock footage that I will be using in the short film to illustrate some of the points that are made in the narrative.
Monday 11 February 2013
First Cut Feedback
From the first cut of the short film, these are the improvements that have been suggested by my media teacher.
• Audio - mix of sound, what extent can audio be removed, audition to remove sound
• Bus and walking scene to similar - Greater variety of camera shots needed.
• Opening needs changing, does not fit with the rest of the film. Does not look like a prison cell.
• Door and bus need a cross dissolve.
• Visual bridge for the unknown date.
• STOCK FOOTAGE
• Add shots of CCTV camera to make the walking scene more uncomfortable
• Remove the milk from being hit so hard on the work top, interrupts the calm flow of tea scene.
• Change ending, protagonists looking at flyer while sitting on chair.
• Sound bridge between the protagonists and the flyer and the end of the film.
These are the suggested improvements, I now need to go and create a revised shooting schedule and proceed with the reshooting of the short film.
• Audio - mix of sound, what extent can audio be removed, audition to remove sound
• Bus and walking scene to similar - Greater variety of camera shots needed.
• Opening needs changing, does not fit with the rest of the film. Does not look like a prison cell.
• Door and bus need a cross dissolve.
• Visual bridge for the unknown date.
• STOCK FOOTAGE
• Add shots of CCTV camera to make the walking scene more uncomfortable
• Remove the milk from being hit so hard on the work top, interrupts the calm flow of tea scene.
• Change ending, protagonists looking at flyer while sitting on chair.
• Sound bridge between the protagonists and the flyer and the end of the film.
These are the suggested improvements, I now need to go and create a revised shooting schedule and proceed with the reshooting of the short film.
Friday 8 February 2013
First Cut
Here is the first cut of the short film - Left Unread.
I know that I am not happy with:
• The walking shot down the corridor, to shakey - Reshoot
• The voice over need to be recorded and then replace the existing voice over.
• The walking shot are too shakey and the continuity is out.
• Audio level need work.
• Tea scene is not fast enough - Reshoot
I now need to show my first cut to my media teacher for feedback on what and how I can improve the film.
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